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The Iron by Henry Rollins

16 Jul

The Iron

by Henry Rollins

I believe that the definition of definition is reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself.


When I was young I had no sense of myself. All I was, was a product of all the fear and humiliation I suffered. Fear of my parents. The humiliation of teachers calling me “garbage can” and telling me I’d be mowing lawns for a living. And the very real terror of my fellow students. I was threatened and beaten up for the color of my skin and my size. I was skinny and clumsy, and when others would tease me I didn’t run home crying, wondering why.

I knew all too well. I was there to be antagonized. In sports I was laughed at. A spaz. I was pretty good at boxing but only because the rage that filled my every waking moment made me wild and unpredictable. I fought with some strange fury. The other boys thought I was crazy.

I hated myself all the time.

As stupid at it seems now, I wanted to talk like them, dress like them, carry myself with the ease of knowing that I wasn’t going to get pounded in the hallway between classes. Years passed and I learned to keep it all inside. I only talked to a few boys in my grade. Other losers. Some of them are to this day the greatest people I have ever known. Hang out with a guy who has had his head flushed down a toilet a few times, treat him with respect, and you’ll find a faithful friend forever. But even with friends, school sucked. Teachers gave me hard time. I didn’t think much of them either.

Then came Mr. Pepperman, my advisor. He was a powerfully built Vietnam veteran, and he was scary. No one ever talked out of turn in his class. Once one kid did and Mr. P. lifted him off the ground and pinned him to the blackboard. Mr. P. could see that I was in bad shape, and one Friday in October he asked me if I had ever worked out with weights. I told him no.

He told me that I was going to take some of the money that I had saved and buy a hundred-pound set of weights at Sears. As I left his office, I started to think of things I would say to him on Monday when he asked about the weights that I was not going to buy. Still, it made me feel special. My father never really got that close to caring. On Saturday I bought the weights, but I couldn’t even drag them to my mom’s car. An attendant laughed at me as he put them on a dolly.

Monday came and I was called into Mr. P.’s office after school. He said that he was going to show me how to work out. He was going to put me on a program and start hitting me in the solar plexus in the hallway when I wasn’t looking. When I could take the punch we would know that we were getting somewhere. At no time was I to look at myself in the mirror or tell anyone at school what I was doing. In the gym he showed me ten basic exercises. I paid more attention than I ever did in any of my classes. I didn’t want to blow it. I went home that night and started right in.

Weeks passed, and every once in a while Mr. P. would give me a shot and drop me in the hallway, sending my books flying. The other students didn’t know what to think. More weeks passed, and I was steadily adding new weights to the bar. I could sense the power inside my body growing. I could feel it.

Right before Christmas break I was walking to class, and from out of nowhere Mr. Pepperman appeared and gave me a shot in the chest. I laughed and kept going. He said I could look at myself now. I got home and ran to the bathroom and pulled off my shirt. I saw a body, not just the shell that housed my stomach and my heart. My biceps bulged. My chest had definition. I felt strong. It was the first time I can remember having a sense of myself. I had done something and no one could ever take it away. You couldn’t say s–t to me.

It took me years to fully appreciate the value of the lessons I have learned from the Iron. I used to think that it was my adversary, that I was trying to lift that which does not want to be lifted. I was wrong. When the Iron doesn’t want to come off the mat, it’s the kindest thing it can do for you. If it flew up and went through the ceiling, it wouldn’t teach you anything. That’s the way the Iron talks to you. It tells you that the material you work with is that which you will come to resemble. That which you work against will always work against you.

It wasn’t until my late twenties that I learned that by working out I had given myself a great gift. I learned that nothing good comes without work and a certain amount of pain. When I finish a set that leaves me shaking, I know more about myself. When something gets bad, I know it can’t be as bad as that workout.

I used to fight the pain, but recently this became clear to me: pain is not my enemy; it is my call to greatness. But when dealing with the Iron, one must be careful to interpret the pain correctly. Most injuries involving the Iron come from ego. I once spent a few weeks lifting weight that my body wasn’t ready for and spent a few months not picking up anything heavier than a fork. Try to lift what you’re not prepared to and the Iron will teach you a little lesson in restraint and self-control.

I have never met a truly strong person who didn’t have self-respect. I think a lot of inwardly and outwardly directed contempt passes itself off as self-respect: the idea of raising yourself by stepping on someone’s shoulders instead of doing it yourself. When I see guys working out for cosmetic reasons, I see vanity exposing them in the worst way, as cartoon characters, billboards for imbalance and insecurity. Strength reveals itself through character. It is the difference between bouncers who get off strong-arming people and Mr.Pepperman.

Muscle mass does not always equal strength. Strength is kindness and sensitivity. Strength is understanding that your power is both physical and emotional. That it comes from the body and the mind. And the heart.

Yukio Mishima said that he could not entertain the idea of romance if he was not strong. Romance is such a strong and overwhelming passion, a weakened body cannot sustain it for long. I have some of my most romantic thoughts when I am with the Iron. Once I was in love with a woman. I thought about her the most when the pain from a workout was racing through my body.

Everything in me wanted her. So much so that sex was only a fraction of my total desire. It was the single most intense love I have ever felt, but she lived far away and I didn’t see her very often. Working out was a healthy way of dealing with the loneliness. To this day, when I work out I usually listen to ballads.

I prefer to work out alone.

It enables me to concentrate on the lessons that the Iron has for me. Learning about what you’re made of is always time well spent, and I have found no better teacher. The Iron had taught me how to live. Life is capable of driving you out of your mind. The way it all comes down these days, it’s some kind of miracle if you’re not insane. People have become separated from their bodies. They are no longer whole.

I see them move from their offices to their cars and on to their suburban homes. They stress out constantly, they lose sleep, they eat badly. And they behave badly. Their egos run wild; they become motivated by that which will eventually give them a massive stroke. They need the Iron Mind.

Through the years, I have combined meditation, action, and the Iron into a single strength. I believe that when the body is strong, the mind thinks strong thoughts. Time spent away from the Iron makes my mind degenerate. I wallow in a thick depression. My body shuts down my mind.

The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it’s impossible to turn back.

The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you’re a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds.

This article originally appeared in Details Magazine.

Training: Thursday, June 28

28 Jun

Warm up sets
220 3×5

Warm up sets
100 3×5

I failed this lift last time but managed it today.

Warm up sets
255 1×5

Normally my routine runs MWF but we are heading out of town Friday so I decided to move my Wednesday routine to Thursday so that I can spread out my days off. I will do the same thing next week since Wednesday is Independence Day.

Training log: not gonna do it!

25 Jun

45 2×5
85 1×5
125 1×3
170 1×2
215 3×5

45 2×5
70 1×5
95 1×3
125 1×2
140 3×5

Power Clean

Dumbbell rows
50 1×5
55 1×5
60 1×5
65 1×5
70 1×5

Everything seems to be progressing well. I’ve moved the bar further down my back and am now below parallel in my squat. It’s taken a couple of weeks for my shoulders to stretch out and for my hands to get used to the new bar positioning.

I am dropping the power clean. It’s a bit too technical for me to feel comfortable without proper coaching. Not a big deal. The main reason for doing it is to focus on explosive power and there are many other ways to go about working on that.

Training log, Friday, June 22nd

22 Jun

45 2×5
80 1×5
125 1×3
165 1×2
210 3×5

45 2×5
55 1×5
70 1×3
85 1×2
100 2×5, 1×4

Couldn’t quite get the last press up. I’ll stick with 100 lbs next round to see if I can make it. No biggie. I seem to fail presses every-other time.

95 2×5
145 1×3
205 1×2
245 1×5

Pimpin’ ain’t easy? Try power cleans!

20 Jun

Today’s training log is brought to you by Olympic Lifts. When you want to feel as clumsy as Lucille Ball with an inner-ear infection, try Olympic Lifts!

45 2×5
80 1×5
120 1×3
160 1×2
205 3×5

45 2×5
70 1×5
100 1×3
130 1×2
135 3×5

Power Clean

Dumbbell Rows
65 3×5

So today was my first attempt at Power Cleans. If you aren’t sure what they are, here’s a video.

So why did I end up not doing these? Since I had never tried them before, I decided to see if I could simply do the catch at the end. One try and I realized my humerus bone was not reaching parallel. Not wanting to harm myself, I decided to put off power cleans until I did a little more research on why the humerus needs to be parallel. Turns out, it doesn’t have to be parallel, it just ensures that the weight is resting on the deltoids and not being supported by the arms. So fine. I’ll give it another shot. But if it doesn’t work out, no biggie! I’m not looking to compete in Olympic lifting. It just seems like a good way to add some explosive training to a routine.

Monday June 18

19 Jun

Morning weight: 203

Today is day #1 on fixing my squat and deadlift forms using Starting Strength:

45 2×5
80 1×5
120 1×3
160 1×2
200 3×5

45 2×5
50 1×5
65 1×3
80 1×2
95 3×5

90 2×5
140 1×3
195 1×2
235 1×5

Everything gets to move up by 5 lbs except DL which goes up 10 or 15.


18 Jun

Recent events which have occurred during weight training events have led me to realize that my squat and deadlift forms are all kinds of jacked. I’m not hitting parallel on heavy weights in my squats and I’m rolling the bar out when I deadlift. This has proven quite unfortunate in that I have to unlearn bad behavior. That being said, I have still made some incredible gains and I anticipate some decent forward momentum.

So what lead to this realization? I picked up and read Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe. If you are in the least bit interested in building strength, I recommend this book, even if you have been training for a while (as have I). It breaks down the squat, press, bench press, dead lift, and power clean very well. It made me realize three things:

  1. I was cheating my squat.
  2. I was making my dead lift harder than it needs to be.
  3. I moved back to 5/3/1 prematurely.

Okay, so that last one my not necessarily be the case. But I have decided to drop the weight down on both my squat and dead lift and focus on technique while doing the Starting Strength program. Or going back to the Strong Lifts program I did before my return to 5/3/1. Once I am no longer progressing on either, I plan to move to a more intermediate program like the Texas Method.

Take away lessons

  • Form is king, weight don’t mean a thing! Half-squatting 360 is squatting 0.
  • There is such a thing as intermediate training. You’ll find a million sites and books on beginner training and even more on advanced training. But there’s not a lot out there on intermediate. Don’t let this lead you to believe that it’s beginner or advanced and nothing else.
  • Always reevaluate yourself and be willing to start over if you need to. This is actually what we call “advanced training.”

Now I’m off to start my new program with correct form!



22 May

Originally posted on Smallville Farm Blog.

We have been inundated with all kinds of greens. The lettuce we’ve been gobbling down and handing out to friends. The spinach, on the other hand, we can actually store for future consumption. The best way? Freeze it! Here’s how.

  1. Clean your spinach. A solution of water and liquid Castile soap works well.
  2. Blanch. Boil a pot of water and submerge the spinach in it for two minutes.
  3. Ice bath. After two minutes, dunk the spinach in an ice bath to stop it from cooking.
  4. Freeze. My preferred method is to lay the spinach out on a parchment lined cookie sheet. This causes the spinach leaves to freeze separately so that I can grab out as much as I need to when I need it.
  5. Bag it. One gallon bags work well.

Quite simple! And this can be done with any of your thicker greens such as kale, chard, and mustard greens.

Skyfall teaser trailer

21 May

I can’t tell you how much I love Daniel Craig as Bond, James Bond. This trailer made me giddy as a powerlifter hitting a Chinese buffet after doing deadlifts for singles.

New Cycle

21 May

I’m not sure what number this is. I have been using an app to track my progress and it keeps getting wiped. So I created a spreadsheet into which I place my 1-rep-maxes and it calculates my reps including warmup. If you are interested, download it here. It utilized Wendler’s 5/3/1 program. Here are my current maxes:

  • Press: 145
  • Squat: 360
  • Bench: 190
  • Deadlift: 335

I’ll post my workouts as I complete them!